Introduction & Disclaimer
Dear Brides-to-be & Grooms-to-be,
I am very pleased to present my wedding preparation kit for all couples who are going to get married soon or in the mid of preparation.
A small introduction of me, I first started to prepare my wedding on August 2007 as my big day was on March 2009. As and when I had gone through my preparation, I started to compile and share my experience to guide all couples.
This blog will assist you on the information on how you can start your wedding and some resources. So-called a useful blog that compile from my research and experience to provide all informations for all brides-to-be or grooms-to-be.
As I say, all informations compile from my research and experience, you will expect some copyrights from other articles & websites.
For advertising, you are always welcome to share with everyone. Give me your email and I will contact you directly. Advertising in this blog is FREE.
Hope this kit will be useful to you! Have fun!
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Sunday, November 9, 2008
Chinese Wedding Customs
Chinese wedding traditions are as varied and complex. During the centuries of ethnic Chinese migration throughout Asia, traditions have evolved and changed due to a myriad of regional and cultural influences. The traditions discussed here offer a preliminary overview for couples who wish to include elements of their Chinese heritage in their wedding plans.
Chinese Wedding Customs, Pre-wedding Day
Selecting an auspicious date (看日子)
It is customary for a Chinese couple to consult a fortune-teller or feng shui master to select an auspicious wedding date. Using the Chinese calendar, the date best suited for the couple is based on their birth dates and Chinese zodiac signs. It’s considered good luck to marry on an even day and month of the year.
There are many factors that will have to be taken into consideration when choosing a wedding date. The seventh lunar month of the Chinese calendar is usually considered inauspicious. Traditionally, that is the time of the Hungry Ghost Festival, making it a less desirable time for a wedding.
After the selection of the wedding day, wedding details such as the types and quantities of betrothal gifts, bride’s price (聘金) and number of tables at the wedding banquet provided by the groom’s parents for the bride’s parents guests are agreed.
The Betrothal (过大礼/纳彩)
Because traditions are ever-changing, betrothal ceremonies ranged from a formal proposal letter to gift exchange. This gesture has a meaning to prove the sincerity towards the marriage between the binding of two families and the promises of taking care of the bride. Here are a few of the most practiced rituals.
Up to a month or at least three days before the wedding day, the groom’s family would present betrothal gifts to the bride’s family. The gifts include: Western and Chinese wedding cakes, peanut candies, two bottles of brandy, pig trotters (which is now being replaced by tin canned ones), even number of oranges, two pairs of dragon and phoenix candles (龙凤烛), jewellery from the groom’s parents to the bride such as the dragon and phoenix bangles (琢) or four items of gold (四点金). Some would also include the bride’s price with the betrothal gifts while others prefer to present it when the groom fetches the bride.
In exchange, the bride’s family will replace the 2 bottles of brandy with 2 bottles of orange syrup, even numbered portion of all the other gifts and 2 phoenix candles. The bride’s family will light the 2 dragon candles and the groom’s family the phoenix candles on the morning of the wedding day.
Some Hokkien families will also request for a bunch of bananas and red dates to be included in the gifts, a red packet for the groom’s parents to buy shoes is also required. The bride will also present towels to the parents, grandparents, aunt, uncles, and groom’s siblings.
The gifts from the groom’s family acknowledged the bride’s parents’ efforts in raising the girl. By accepting these gifts, the bride’s family pledged her to the groom’s family.
After the betrothal, the Chinese wedding invitations are distributed.
The bride’s dowry (送嫁妆)
Dowry is a blessing from the bride's parents to their own daughter and future son in-law, it also symbolises that their precious daughter has grown up and ready to fullfill the role of someboby's wife. This procedure is done on an ausipious date chosen by a professional Feng Shui consultant before the wedding day.Dowry is a process where the bride's parents will buy items like bedsheet, baby prosperity set, toiletries like mug, toothbrush and toothpaste for the wedding couple to start a blessful marriage together. The individual items has a special meaning behind. All of them are blessing to the couples for a everlasting marriage and hopefully to carry on a prosper family line.
The Chinese dowries typically include:
- Beddings such as pillows, bolsters, comforter set, blankets, bed sheets, etc, all tied with red ribbons
- New clothes in a suitcase for the bride (in the past, wardrobes or wooden wedding chest are used)
- Tea set for the wedding tea ceremony
- Baby bathtub, potty, face wash basin, tumblers, toothpaste and toothbrushes, mirror and comb
- Two pairs of red wooden clogs, wedding slippers or bedroom slippers
- Sewing basket with even-numbered rolls of colorful thread, needles, pin cushion, scissors and sewing wax with auspicious words written on it
- Jewellery given by the bride’s parents
Installing the bridal bed (按床)
In the past, as part of the pre-wedding preparations, couples were expected to acquire a new bed to sleep in as a married couple. Today, most couple simply prepares a bed with new linens, often red to symbolize good luck.
The bridal bed will be installed in the couple’s room before the wedding day on an auspicious selected date. A plate of dried longans, lotus seeds, red dates, persimmons, sprig of pomegranate leaves together with 2 red packets are placed on the bed. A pair of bedside lamps is lit to symbolize adding sons to the family.
The hair combing ceremony (梳头)
This ceremony is not always performed today, but it is a lovely ritual that is meaningful and simple to perform. The night before the wedding, after the bride showers, she will then take a seat within sight of moonlight or in front of a mirror. Her hair is combed by a woman (often her mother) who is considered to be fortunate in life.
Her hair is combed four times:
一梳到尾 : the first combing symbolizes “from beginning to the end”
二百年好合 : the second combing symbolizes harmony in your marriage
三子孙满堂 : the third combing is a blessing with many children and grand children
四白发齐眉 : the fourth combing offers hope for wealth and a marriage that lasts a lifetime
The groom also goes through this ceremony in his own home.
Items required:
- Pointed comb (Groom)
- Round Comb (Bride)
- Double-sided Comb (Groom and Bride)
- Sewing kit (Bride)
- 1 set of mirror (Groom and Bride)
- 1 red string (Groom and Bride)
- Ausipious Ruler (Groom and Bride)
Chinese Wedding Decorations (大喜装饰)
Double happiness (双喜) stickers will be placed on all wedding items such as the betrothal gifts, dowry, the couple’s toiletries and cosmetics. The bridal room furniture, especially the mirror and cupboards will also be decorated with the double happiness or other wedding paper cut-outs such as pairs of mandarin ducks, dragons and phoenixes, etc. Such red wedding paper cut-outs will also be placed on the main door, bridal room door and generally around the house.
A red banner (红彩帘) will be hung across the front doors of the two households to announce the joyous event.
Chinese Wedding Customs, The Wedding Day! (大喜日)
Hair dressing ritual (上头)
In the morning of the wedding day, a “hair-dressing” ritual is performed for the bride. A “good fortune” woman, often the bride’s mother will help to dress up the bride’s hair. She will say some auspicious words while tying up her hair in a bun (style of a married woman).
Fetching the Bride (迎亲)
In the morning of the wedding day, the groom together with a group of relatives and friends will go fetch the bride. They will carry a red tray containing a red packet with the bride’s price, pig trotters, which is the mother’s reward for bringing up the bride, even number of oranges, dried persimmons, longans, lotus seeds, and magnolia petals (pak hup – 百合).
Bride’s younger brother to open the bridal car door (小舅开车门)
The groom must not open the car door when he arrives to fetch his bride. The bride’s younger brother will pass him two oranges before opening the door. The two oranges will be left in the bridal car for good fortune. The groom will give this younger brother a red packet after he opens the car door. If the bride has no younger brother, a young male relative or a younger male friend can play the role.
Bridesmaid door games
When the groom arrived at the bride’s house, he and his bridal party will go through a mock bargaining session with the bride’s friends. The groom is often made to perform stunts or tricks before they ‘release’ the bride to him. The groom will try to buy his way in by presenting ‘Lai Shi’, token money in red packets. The entire ‘bargain’ process is joyous and good natured.
Chinese wedding ceremony (过门/拜堂成亲)
Chinese ceremonies are historically simple compared to other Chinese wedding elements. In fact, the wedding ceremony was seen more as a way to announce the wedding, which was then followed by the banquet. During the ceremony, the bride and groom would stand at the family alter, where the couple would pay homage to heaven and earth and the family ancestors. Tea, usually with lotus seeds and red dates would be offered to the groom’s parents. Finally the bride and groom would bow to each other, completing the ceremony.
The Nuptial Chamber (入洞房)
Immediately following the ceremony, the couple will be led to the bridal chamber, where both would sit on the bed. In some areas of China, honey and wine were poured into two goblets linked by a red thread. The bride and groom would take a few sips, then exchange cups and drink the rest.
Tea ceremony (敬茶)
It’s the quintessential Chinese wedding tradition: the tea ceremony. This time-honored exchange was created to show respect for the family. Historically, after they exchanged vows, the couple would serve tea to the groom’s family (the bride would have served tea privately to her own family that morning). Today many couples choose to honor both the bride and groom’s families by hosting tea ceremonies for both sets of parents.
If you are hosting two separate ceremonies, traditionally, it’s appropriate to honor the groom’s family first. The couple will serve tea to the grooms parents and elders in order of seniority. When tea is offered, the couple will receive red packets filled with money or jewellery. This is considered the formal introduction of the families.
Bride’s home visit (三朝回门)
Traditionally, the bride’s home visit is three days after the Chinese wedding ceremony. For efficiency, modern Chinese wedding usually compressed all the necessary events into a single day.
After the tea ceremony at the groom’s family home, the bride will change out of her clothing to symbolize passing of three days!
Article taken from a website!Labels: tradition
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Sunday, November 9, 2008
Chinese Wedding Customs
Chinese wedding traditions are as varied and complex. During the centuries of ethnic Chinese migration throughout Asia, traditions have evolved and changed due to a myriad of regional and cultural influences. The traditions discussed here offer a preliminary overview for couples who wish to include elements of their Chinese heritage in their wedding plans.
Chinese Wedding Customs, Pre-wedding Day
Selecting an auspicious date (看日子)
It is customary for a Chinese couple to consult a fortune-teller or feng shui master to select an auspicious wedding date. Using the Chinese calendar, the date best suited for the couple is based on their birth dates and Chinese zodiac signs. It’s considered good luck to marry on an even day and month of the year.
There are many factors that will have to be taken into consideration when choosing a wedding date. The seventh lunar month of the Chinese calendar is usually considered inauspicious. Traditionally, that is the time of the Hungry Ghost Festival, making it a less desirable time for a wedding.
After the selection of the wedding day, wedding details such as the types and quantities of betrothal gifts, bride’s price (聘金) and number of tables at the wedding banquet provided by the groom’s parents for the bride’s parents guests are agreed.
The Betrothal (过大礼/纳彩)
Because traditions are ever-changing, betrothal ceremonies ranged from a formal proposal letter to gift exchange. This gesture has a meaning to prove the sincerity towards the marriage between the binding of two families and the promises of taking care of the bride. Here are a few of the most practiced rituals.
Up to a month or at least three days before the wedding day, the groom’s family would present betrothal gifts to the bride’s family. The gifts include: Western and Chinese wedding cakes, peanut candies, two bottles of brandy, pig trotters (which is now being replaced by tin canned ones), even number of oranges, two pairs of dragon and phoenix candles (龙凤烛), jewellery from the groom’s parents to the bride such as the dragon and phoenix bangles (琢) or four items of gold (四点金). Some would also include the bride’s price with the betrothal gifts while others prefer to present it when the groom fetches the bride.
In exchange, the bride’s family will replace the 2 bottles of brandy with 2 bottles of orange syrup, even numbered portion of all the other gifts and 2 phoenix candles. The bride’s family will light the 2 dragon candles and the groom’s family the phoenix candles on the morning of the wedding day.
Some Hokkien families will also request for a bunch of bananas and red dates to be included in the gifts, a red packet for the groom’s parents to buy shoes is also required. The bride will also present towels to the parents, grandparents, aunt, uncles, and groom’s siblings.
The gifts from the groom’s family acknowledged the bride’s parents’ efforts in raising the girl. By accepting these gifts, the bride’s family pledged her to the groom’s family.
After the betrothal, the Chinese wedding invitations are distributed.
The bride’s dowry (送嫁妆)
Dowry is a blessing from the bride's parents to their own daughter and future son in-law, it also symbolises that their precious daughter has grown up and ready to fullfill the role of someboby's wife. This procedure is done on an ausipious date chosen by a professional Feng Shui consultant before the wedding day.Dowry is a process where the bride's parents will buy items like bedsheet, baby prosperity set, toiletries like mug, toothbrush and toothpaste for the wedding couple to start a blessful marriage together. The individual items has a special meaning behind. All of them are blessing to the couples for a everlasting marriage and hopefully to carry on a prosper family line.
The Chinese dowries typically include:
- Beddings such as pillows, bolsters, comforter set, blankets, bed sheets, etc, all tied with red ribbons
- New clothes in a suitcase for the bride (in the past, wardrobes or wooden wedding chest are used)
- Tea set for the wedding tea ceremony
- Baby bathtub, potty, face wash basin, tumblers, toothpaste and toothbrushes, mirror and comb
- Two pairs of red wooden clogs, wedding slippers or bedroom slippers
- Sewing basket with even-numbered rolls of colorful thread, needles, pin cushion, scissors and sewing wax with auspicious words written on it
- Jewellery given by the bride’s parents
Installing the bridal bed (按床)
In the past, as part of the pre-wedding preparations, couples were expected to acquire a new bed to sleep in as a married couple. Today, most couple simply prepares a bed with new linens, often red to symbolize good luck.
The bridal bed will be installed in the couple’s room before the wedding day on an auspicious selected date. A plate of dried longans, lotus seeds, red dates, persimmons, sprig of pomegranate leaves together with 2 red packets are placed on the bed. A pair of bedside lamps is lit to symbolize adding sons to the family.
The hair combing ceremony (梳头)
This ceremony is not always performed today, but it is a lovely ritual that is meaningful and simple to perform. The night before the wedding, after the bride showers, she will then take a seat within sight of moonlight or in front of a mirror. Her hair is combed by a woman (often her mother) who is considered to be fortunate in life.
Her hair is combed four times:
一梳到尾 : the first combing symbolizes “from beginning to the end”
二百年好合 : the second combing symbolizes harmony in your marriage
三子孙满堂 : the third combing is a blessing with many children and grand children
四白发齐眉 : the fourth combing offers hope for wealth and a marriage that lasts a lifetime
The groom also goes through this ceremony in his own home.
Items required:
- Pointed comb (Groom)
- Round Comb (Bride)
- Double-sided Comb (Groom and Bride)
- Sewing kit (Bride)
- 1 set of mirror (Groom and Bride)
- 1 red string (Groom and Bride)
- Ausipious Ruler (Groom and Bride)
Chinese Wedding Decorations (大喜装饰)
Double happiness (双喜) stickers will be placed on all wedding items such as the betrothal gifts, dowry, the couple’s toiletries and cosmetics. The bridal room furniture, especially the mirror and cupboards will also be decorated with the double happiness or other wedding paper cut-outs such as pairs of mandarin ducks, dragons and phoenixes, etc. Such red wedding paper cut-outs will also be placed on the main door, bridal room door and generally around the house.
A red banner (红彩帘) will be hung across the front doors of the two households to announce the joyous event.
Chinese Wedding Customs, The Wedding Day! (大喜日)
Hair dressing ritual (上头)
In the morning of the wedding day, a “hair-dressing” ritual is performed for the bride. A “good fortune” woman, often the bride’s mother will help to dress up the bride’s hair. She will say some auspicious words while tying up her hair in a bun (style of a married woman).
Fetching the Bride (迎亲)
In the morning of the wedding day, the groom together with a group of relatives and friends will go fetch the bride. They will carry a red tray containing a red packet with the bride’s price, pig trotters, which is the mother’s reward for bringing up the bride, even number of oranges, dried persimmons, longans, lotus seeds, and magnolia petals (pak hup – 百合).
Bride’s younger brother to open the bridal car door (小舅开车门)
The groom must not open the car door when he arrives to fetch his bride. The bride’s younger brother will pass him two oranges before opening the door. The two oranges will be left in the bridal car for good fortune. The groom will give this younger brother a red packet after he opens the car door. If the bride has no younger brother, a young male relative or a younger male friend can play the role.
Bridesmaid door games
When the groom arrived at the bride’s house, he and his bridal party will go through a mock bargaining session with the bride’s friends. The groom is often made to perform stunts or tricks before they ‘release’ the bride to him. The groom will try to buy his way in by presenting ‘Lai Shi’, token money in red packets. The entire ‘bargain’ process is joyous and good natured.
Chinese wedding ceremony (过门/拜堂成亲)
Chinese ceremonies are historically simple compared to other Chinese wedding elements. In fact, the wedding ceremony was seen more as a way to announce the wedding, which was then followed by the banquet. During the ceremony, the bride and groom would stand at the family alter, where the couple would pay homage to heaven and earth and the family ancestors. Tea, usually with lotus seeds and red dates would be offered to the groom’s parents. Finally the bride and groom would bow to each other, completing the ceremony.
The Nuptial Chamber (入洞房)
Immediately following the ceremony, the couple will be led to the bridal chamber, where both would sit on the bed. In some areas of China, honey and wine were poured into two goblets linked by a red thread. The bride and groom would take a few sips, then exchange cups and drink the rest.
Tea ceremony (敬茶)
It’s the quintessential Chinese wedding tradition: the tea ceremony. This time-honored exchange was created to show respect for the family. Historically, after they exchanged vows, the couple would serve tea to the groom’s family (the bride would have served tea privately to her own family that morning). Today many couples choose to honor both the bride and groom’s families by hosting tea ceremonies for both sets of parents.
If you are hosting two separate ceremonies, traditionally, it’s appropriate to honor the groom’s family first. The couple will serve tea to the grooms parents and elders in order of seniority. When tea is offered, the couple will receive red packets filled with money or jewellery. This is considered the formal introduction of the families.
Bride’s home visit (三朝回门)
Traditionally, the bride’s home visit is three days after the Chinese wedding ceremony. For efficiency, modern Chinese wedding usually compressed all the necessary events into a single day.
After the tea ceremony at the groom’s family home, the bride will change out of her clothing to symbolize passing of three days!
Article taken from a website!Labels: tradition
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